I don't think anyone ever expects their life to turn out the way it does -- "The best laid plans of mice and men. . . ." and all of that. I expected to share my life with one person, to grow old with that person, and to become even closer when our kids were raised and gone. Instead, my life has moved in a completely opposite direction, one that I least expected or prepared for. I'm not complaining because the road that I'm on has had its own lessons and adventures that I would not have known otherwise. I don't know what tomorrow has planned for me at all, but I think the unexpected has made me a little more resilient and a little more willing to entertain experiences outside the norm of what I had planned.
I always wanted to grow old with someone that I had a long history with so that I would have the comfort of a loving and compatible companion in my dotage. That is not to be, at least as my life path seems at this moment. I don't feel sad about it. Instead I feel anticipation and comfort in the reliable routines I have made my own, on my own.